What's "Your List?"

List. As women sometimes we feel our lives run by them. To Do List, Honey Do List, Grocery List... but what about those more personal lists? And no, not your bucket list... but that could be an interesting subject for later. What about Your List? By this I mean the list of qualities you hope to find in your future (or maybe now current) spouse.

Did you ever sit up late at night in high school and write out a list of what you hoped your future spouse would be like? Or maybe you have never written it out, but it is there... inside your head. Are there physical features (i.e. brown hair and blue eyes) you hope are looking back at you on your wedding day, or possibly are the qualities you are looking for emotionally and mentally descriptive? Each person is different, but more often than not, everyone knows at least one thing they don't feel they could live without in their hopeful spouse.

Some might find this list cynical or so picky that it hinders someone from meeting new people, however others see it as a standards which they do not wish to compromise.

Clearly, I'm taking up time out of my life and a decently busy schedule to write about this, so yes... I have a list. That we can get to later. I wrote my first list when I was 13 years old. I had my heart broken for the first time in my life, so I felt the best way to make sure it didn't happen again was to sketch out in words the person I was out to find. This list has changed (although slightly) as my views, perspectives, and morals have developed over the past 12 years. I seemed to update my list after each breakup, taking what I had learned and drawing my likes and dislikes into the a description.

I have updated this list with several friends, and have dated each list to know exactly when I decided something else was important. For many friends, taking "The List" from their mind to paper helps them honestly define what they hoped to find in their future spouse. One friend even met "Her List" a little over a month after we wrote ours out together. It became how we referred to guys for a while, "Is he The List?" If he wasn't every single quality the person was looking for the other friend discouraged the relationship. To be completely honest, if I had followed the list a little more closely I could have saved myself time, money, and emotion on guys that God never intended for me. However, they were part of his plan for my journey, so it's not that I live with any regrets.

So, if you are single and have never sat down and honestly written out qualities you do not want to compromise in your future spouse, now is as good as time as ever! Better yet, comment and we can discuss it. If you are married, sorry but you already said your vows... look at your significant other and appreciate them... no matter how difficult that may be some days...

This can be a fun way to start a singles bible study with a group of girls! Guys, we know you have your list as well... usually you seem to like to keep it in your head because so that people have no written record that you actually have feelings. However, it truly is therapeutic to actually write! You can always shred/burn it after so your guy friends will never find out!

Until next time, hope you have fun with "Your List"!